A few days ago I abruptly woke up in Kas, Turkey, deeply struck by a thought that invaded my sleep. I don’t remember my dream, but I remember the thought it affected me with. I’m not great with words and this is my best attempt to describe it.

Meeting up with my friends from college will never be the same. My life won’t be the same. The next time I’m in Cambridge, I can’t walk past the Stud or Vassar or Mass Ave again. Instead I’ll walk down the Vassar with Schwarzmann that isn’t half built, the new music building that isn’t taped off, the Stud that isn’t brutalistic. If I see my friends in Cambridge again, it won’t be “let’s go to Colette” it’ll be, “let’s go to Colette like we did 10 years ago” or “let’s bike to Brookline like we did that one night in May of our senior year”. Walking down the Infinite won’t be walking down the Infinite. Walking down the Infinite will be retracing the steps to Stata. Going to 115 lab won’t be going to 115 but remembering the Blackbird I carried to my locker and the nights in lab. Cambridge and MIT as I knew it will become a memory. I will always see MIT as it was when I left on June 2, 2023. I won’t help but compare the sight in front of my eyes to the images in my mind. I’ll become one of those alums I’ve met who always start off with, “When Bexley was still there” or “Kendall used to be”.

That realization just hit me and I didn’t know how to react. It’s lingered with me the last few days even though I’m thousands of miles away and should be enjoying the Mediterranean coast and ancient ruins and rolling Cappadocian hills. Another thought that has stayed with me is when I see my friends in the future, will I see them as they are? Or will I, similar to how I see Cambridge and MIT, see them as the S, E, A, I met in sophomore or junior year that coded with me during the late nights, biked with me through deserted Newbury, or walked with me from Harvard Square at 3am?

My mom once said you don’t realize how much you’ve aged until you look at the people around you. How different will we be in a year? Ten? Thirty?